Ponzo and the Apocalypse
Music by Jonny Phillips, book and lyrics by David Walter Hall
The Show
Ponzo and the Apocalypse is a two-act work of musical theatre in the tradition of Brecht’s Threepenny Opera, incorporating elements of jazz, classical, cabaret and circus music.
On a post-apocalyptic Earth the aging male residents of Everest Island, dressed in the attire of nineteenth-century clowns, bicker, fantasise and fight over the joystick to take control of humanity’s last days. All the women have gone long ago, but one lone conspiracy theorist rises to power on the back of a doomed plan to build a rocket to Mars, where he has convinced the others that the women are patiently waiting. Can Ponzo, the world’s last working class hero, do anything to stop him?
Sung-through, with an offstage spoken narrator, the show features five lead performers – singing, dancing and clowning – accompanied by an onstage band of five musicians who function as chorus. Both acts end with a duet based on a piece by Maurice Ravel (his Pavane in the first act and the adagio from his Piano Concerto in G as the finale). The rest of the music will be new.
Ponzo and the Apocalypse is a work in progress.
The Men
Ponzo
At 73, the youngest of the men. He is a dreamer, a romantic, a friend to all, always hoping to please. A roughly spoken cockney.
Tango
The cross-dressing, sexually fluid long-term lover of Dobbin. Originally from Argentina, he is catty, attention seeking and lovably outrageous.
Dobbin
A sometimes caustic and misanthropic New Yorker who takes pleasure in others’ jealousy of him. He is a simple man, blessed with the most he could hope for from life.
Lucifer
A tinkerer and fantasist who morphs from sad outsider to charismatic ringmaster. A snobbish, vain, socially climbing middle-class Englishman.
Earl Grey
The oldest of the men and their de facto leader. Top-hatted, white-bearded and wise. A kind-hearted and humble product of the British upper classes.
Music Demos
Demo recordings of three of the songs from the show. For demonstration purposes, a combination of live and digital voices and instruments are used.
"Cast Your Magic Spell"
Music: Jonny Phillips / Lyrics: David Walter Hall
"We Are Love"
Music: Jonny Phillips & David Walter Hall / Lyrics: David Walter Hall
"No Tomorrows"
Music: Maurice Ravel, arr. Jonny Phillips / Lyrics: David Walter Hall
Synopsis
Act I
We open in the town square. Ponzo enters, and stands waiting by a lamp post for his dinner date. We learn that the date that he is waiting for is unlikely to arrive: all the women on Earth disappeared long ago, and all the men are getting old. Disappointed as always, Ponzo is joined by his friend Tango, dressed in drag. Across the square Lucifer is setting up his soap box, and Ponzo and Tango go to listen.
With a familiar sadness and frustration they watch as their old friend rants and rants. He is convinced the women did not die, but were lured away from Earth as disease spread and climate apocalypse loomed, to start a new life on Mars, taking with them the contents of a sperm bank (why waste valuable seats on actual men?). A few people gather round but nobody really listens. Nobody cares.
Lucifer is about to give up for the day, when he decides to make a wager with the crowd. He will prove his theory is true. He will find proof, or he will go away and shut up forever.
By coincidence, a meteor storm forms in the sky. Is this his chance? Lucifer decides to go for it. The women have sent a message, he claims, and what we see exploding in the sky is a coded invitation to the men to come and join them.
Ponzo knows Lucifer well enough to spot an act of naked opportunism when he sees it. He is unconvinced. Tango however, with the rest of the crowd, is entranced. He rushes home to his lover Dobbin to share the good news.
Meanwhile Ponzo goes to the men’s leader, the aging Earl Grey, to tell him what happened. Earl Grey says it’s nonsense, and people will forget about it soon enough.
Lucifer arrives and asks Grey‘s permission to build a spaceship to take everyone to Mars. Earl Grey denies him. Humanity must stay on Earth, “but why?” asks Lucifer. “I’m scared of what might happen if I told you,” is Grey’s only response. Lucifer is enraged and starts a fist fight with Earl Grey, badly wounding him.
Weakened, Earl Grey makes a public appearance, denouncing the plan, and outlawing any more Mars talk.
Back in his workshop, Lucifer begins work on the rocket in secret. Tango comes to see what he has been building. Lucifer flirts with Tango and predicts he will soon take over as leader.
Meanwhile Ponzo goes to see Earl Grey, who is now dying. On his deathbed, Earl Grey entrusts Ponzo with a cannister of seeds, to be spread on the ground at the last possible moment, at the end of his life. No such thing was known to have existed; this was Grey’s great secret. Stay on Earth he says, plant the seeds and maybe life will grow back after humans have gone.
Act II
Lucifer unveils his spaceship. The men celebrate. Lucifer has cemented his place as their new leader and they have a newfound sense of hope.
Dobbin tells Tango how excited he is that they’re going to be going to Mars together, but Tango has some bad news. He and Lucifer are in love. He’s dumping Dobbin.
Dobbin comes to Ponzo for consolation. Ponzo says don’t worry, you can stay here on Earth with me. I’m not going either, so we can make the most of it.
Dobbin goes home and hangs himself instead.
Lucifer and Ponzo discover the body. Ponzo is angry at Lucifer. They discover a letter, and thinking it’s a suicide note, they open it. It is in fact a letter given to Dobbin by his mother, the last thing he read before he ended his life. Ponzo reads it aloud.
It is the day of the departure. Tango wants to say goodbye to Dobbin, but Ponzo arrives at the launch site without him. He lies and tells Tango that Dobbin wasn’t feeling well, but sends his regards. Everyone is on the spaceship apart from Lucifer, who is making last minute adjustments to the rockets.
Lucifer bids Ponzo adieu. Ponzo tries one last time to convince Lucifer not to go. They both know the truth: it’s a suicide mission. But Lucifer is too proud to tell the men he has deceived them, and so he carries through, choosing death over the shame. The ship takes off and Ponzo is left alone on Earth, wondering if there is any point in going on. He spreads Earl Grey’s seeds and watches in astonishment as the plants of every kind grow high around him, not knowing if anything now is real.
Team
Writer David Walter Hall’s work for the stage includes Cross Road Blues at the Hackney Empire and North of the Sunset at the Cockpit in Marylebone. His work has also appeared at Riverside Studios, the King’s Head in Islington, and at the Edinburgh fringe.
More recently, he has focused on film. His debut feature as writer and director, Passing Through, appeared at festivals in 2023, winning awards including the Brenda Blethyn First Feature Prize at Ramsgate. It is due to be released by Indigo Entertainment soon.
Jonny Phillips is an award winning guitarist and composer known for his work with the band Oriole.
He composed and recorded the soundtrack to Passing Through.
Staging and Music
All characters are male and over seventy. They dress shabbily, strongly resembling nineteenth-century clowns. Their world is one of permanent disrepair, scavenged from the remains of human civilisation. Although set in the future, there will be a steampunk aesthetic, with hints of Mad Max and Waterworld. The miniature sculptures of Simon Laveuve will also be an influence.
The band will be onstage throughout and will be central to the look and feel of the show. Like the main cast, they will dress like clowns, creating a fluidity between cast and band.
Built into the set will be an immense calliope – a steam-powered pipe organ synonymous with circuses and fairgrounds – built out of junk. The calliope will in fact be a digital keyboard synchronised with 32 small smoke machines, which will emit a plume of smoke when a corresponding note is pressed, creating the mesmerising effect of the original with greater safety and predictability.
The five-piece band will comprise:
- Saxophones/clarinet/flute
- Tuba/euphonium/trumpet
- Guitar/bass guitar
- Calliope (organ)/accordion
- Drums/percussion
The musicians, who will likely have jazz and improvising backgrounds, will switch instruments where the music calls for it. Generally either tuba or bass guitar will play the bass part, and those musicians will switch to guitar or trumpet respectively.
In crowd scenes, some or all of the musicians will join the chorus, with the drummer playing marching band style, the keyboard player switching to accordion and the guitarist to ukulele or banjo, or playing with a shoulder strap.
The main cast may also play accordion, ukulele, melodica, harmonica, kazoo, jug, xylophone, tambourine, percussion etc.
References
Some music references to give a broader feel for the musical influences to be expected in the show, ranging from Balkan brass to traditional jazz and modern jazz, dark cabaret, punk and funk.
Sample Lyrics
“Cast Your Magic Spell”
Ponzo
Cast your magic spell right over me,
Kiss me through a veil of summer night,
Tell me that you want my body, and you’re gonna treat me right.
Cast your magic spell right over me.
Worlds beneath our world are calling me.
Drop me at the gates. I won’t be long.
I’ll buy y’a naked Venus in the gift shop, or a homunculus to torture when I’m gone.
Cast your magic spell right over me.
And when we make our vows, incandescent, high on glory,
We’ll be dancing, we’ll be spreading fire and light.
And when we go to bed, silk and roses, sweet and holy,
Hot and sweaty, we’ll ascend into the night.
And love will make us gods of bone and flesh,
And tame the great stampede of space and time,
And solder every long-gone heartbreak, with your body next to mine.
Cast your magic spell right over me.
Narrator
While music continues…
Ponzo had been leaning against this same lamp-post, night after night, singing more or less the same song for longer than he would let himself remember. His date never came of course, because there were no women left in the world. No women, and all the men were getting older.
Ponzo
A love like ours can fly without a passport.
It’s never been a slave to any rules.
It’s like that God-shaped hole on the horizon, soon they’ll study it in schools.
Cast your magic spell right over me.
Boulevards renamed for you and me,
Esplanades laid out where we might’ve strolled,
Aeroplanes and boats initialled, love letters treated like gold.
Cast your magic spell right over me.
And if they take our youth, let them take it, they can have it,
We’re so good looking when we dim out all the light.
And if they take our lives, what’s it matter? We’ll go gladly,
In our caskets we’ll be dreaming of tonight.
But you’re late again? What was it this time?
Luck the likes of yours is rare, it’s true.
Luck, the fickle gateman to the garden. He will have us all for fools.
Oh luck, my precious baby, what’s wrong with you?
“We Are Love”
Lucifer
We are love.
We’re indescribable.
We’ve got stars burnin’ in our eyes and we’re willing to die for ‘em.
Like the son of man
Hangin’ on that crucifix,
Singin, “I ain’t gonna die right here, naw man, gon’ build me a rocket ship.”
Chorus
Press your face against the madness
And trust in Lucifer.
Lucifer
I’ve got plans.
I need your attention now,
‘Cause I’m the real deal, ain’t nobody else gon’ bust you out of town.
Here it is.
We’ve suffered all these years,
Now we’re heading on a one-way trip, gon’ get the hell out of here.
Chorus
Come and join the march to heaven
And trust in Lucifer.
Lucifer
Planet Earth,
This city among the stars:
It was damn fine here for a while but friends, we’re gonna fly to Mars,
Where women stride,
Where they have families,
Where our great grand-children play – imagine five hundred of ‘me’s.
Chorus
Leave your doubts beside your bedsides
And trust in Lucifer.
Lucifer
We happy few,
This bold fraternity,
If there’s any gas left in your tank, then your future depends on me.
Did you donate?
Did you fire off some rocket juice?
Then your investment’s been festering away, don’t give up that golden goose.
Chorus
May your loins be well rewarded
Through your trust in Lucifer.
So look deep at your reflection,
Feel the fire of resurrection
And behold the great erection
Of our rocket ship to Mars!
“No Tomorrows”
(To the tune of the adagio assai from Ravel’s piano concerto in G.)
Lucifer
So long old friend, keep warm. Do forgive me.
Ponzo
Forgive you now?
Lucifer
Forgive my timing…
Ponzo
You can stop this madness, tell these men the truth.
Lucifer
Destroy their dreams?
Ponzo
Let them dream…
Lucifer
These men have followed me willingly.
Ponzo
Don’t be crazy. Let’s have a brew, let’s talk, you don’t have to go.
Lucifer
I’ll tell you where you can go.
You keep your tea pot.
I have friends who love me,
Friends who say Lucifer’s in charge.
I was nothing to no one.
When they all laughed at me, you…
You told me I was still a man, so don’t take this from me.
Send Dobbin my regards.
Lucifer and Tango, with the other men, board the ship.
Narrator
And so Lucifer, Tango, and every last man in town except for old Ponzo, set off on a one-way trip to Mars, where, we can be honest with ourselves, there were no women. There was nothing worth anything on Mars, even if they had half a chance of getting there. Ponzo wondered how many other men on that ship knew it too. The chap with the tuba probably had an inkling. What were they thinking?
Lucifer
Full speed ahead!
Full speed ahead and we’ll be there in time for tea.
Picture their faces!
Full speed ahead!
Full speed ahead and we’ll be welcomed there as kings.
Tango
I’d settle for a little princess.
The ship starts to move.
Lucifer
Praise the skies!
Live ev’ry minute.
Praise our lives.
Feel ev’ry fearsome heartbeat.
The spaceship leaves. It flies upwards in circles, then disappears.
Narrator
Upwards and onwards and upwards and onwards they flew. Past the soot, past the clouds, past the poisoned rain. Clutching each other, friends, brothers, gut-strung and fear-forged human souls. Precious memories clutched inside their hearts, folded up like love letters. Ale and cricket on an English green. Buenos Aires with the jacarandas in bloom. Every triumph, every failure, everything held still, their senses aflame. Onwards they flew, with the grace of an eagle. No sadness, no smiles. Onwards, with a single purpose, up and up, and up into the ink black oblivion that awaits us all.
Ponzo is left alone. He takes his clown clothes and make-up off, and looks very normal.
Ponzo
So long old friends, keep well, travel softly.
And you, sweet Earth, would you forgive me
If I made my exit, faded here and now, just like a flame?
I close my eyes but I can’t reconcile nothingness:
No tomorrows? No winter sun, no spring, no starting again…?
There’s still a light, some distant fairy flies haunting the night.
And hope: here’s hoping life will rise again.
Ponzo opens Earl Grey’s cannister and spreads seeds around him. As he lies down and closes his eyes, the seeds grow into tall plants. He jolts awake.
Narrator
The plants grew tall around Ponzo, like a fairy tale. He had no idea whether all of it, or some of it, or none of it was real. Left all alone, it hardly seemed to matter now anyway.